ASPIE MOM

 

    I have not kept up with posting here for a long time but I think that today convinced me that I need to pick it up again because it also can help to relieve stress.  When I first started this blog, I was hoping it would be a help to other Aspie parents out there, but today was a totally Aspie day and my intentions are completely selfish.

  When I was diagnosed with breast cancer 1 and 1/2 years ago, I thought it was the most difficult thing I would ever face in my life.  At the time, it was.  But I have come to realize that the little events of daily life, when combined over time, can be very difficult too, especially the challenges of being an Aspie Mom.  One of the major factors in breast cancer recovery is learning to reduce stress and the effects it has upon you.  I have always found great comfort in my faith, but I have embraced several other small changes in my lifestyle in that endeavor.

     I have found yoga to be a great stress reliever, as is massage and Reiki.  I have drawn from some past experiences with physical therapy sessions to ease pain and increase restful sleep.  Exercise, diet and nutrition, although they are different factors in recovery and health maintenance, do bring a degree of stress relief, in that I feel better if I use them.  I also feel more hopeful, knowing that I am doing what I can to help myself to be a healthier person with less risk of a recurrence of the breast cancer.  And if it should return, at least I will know that I have done all that I can do to prevent it.  

   When I said today was an Aspie day, please let me explain.  Aspie days can be wonderful.  There are plenty of times full of surprise and laughter but there are days of stress and hardship as well.  This day was of the latter type.

   I have been fighting a GI virus this week, not the 24 hour type that make their visit and then disappear, but the type that linger for days to be sure you know they were there and they really did not like the way your body treated them.  This all began on Monday.  Maybe I should have called this an Aspie week????

   Anyway, today is Thursday and Thursday is "His day".  Thursday is one of the two days a week he gets to spend with us doing the things he wants us to do with and for him.  Being an Aspie, I don't think he has a clue that he could be doing things with and for us, it is all about him. 

     He has a  Community Living Services worker who came earlier in the morning than usual and brought him to our house around noon.  He had called me around 10am to ask me to take him downtown and I had already told him I was ill and could not do it, but when he arrived at our house, he was expecting I would change my mind.  I did not.  I explained that driving downtown would put me in a precarious position with the illness that I have and I did not want to run the risk of the possible repercussions.  I doubt I have to explain what a GI virus can suddenly do to you.

   However, my appetite is returning and I told him I would take him somewhere close-by  with foods that I could tolerate.  He realized he was not going to change my mind about the trip downtown, so he settled for lunch.  We found the place and ordered lunch but just as I was beginning to eat, the GI issue decided it was time to take me out.  I could not get out of the booth quickly and I barely made it to the restroom!  Just what I had feared!  I asked for my meal to be put in a box, paid the bill, and returned to the safety and closeness of my own bathroom!

     I guess when he saw litterally that I was telling the truth about what could possibly happen, he finally realized that I truly was not well enough to trek him downtown.  He decided that the bus was his better option and that a ride home with Dad from his work would be better for us all.  I just hope he doesn't catch what I have had! He won't want to ride the bus for a month!
     This is very typical of Asperger's Syndrome people.  They often are not able to see beyond themselves and understand the needs of other people.  He could not see that I needed to take care of myself, rather than him today.  And that is one of the most difficult things in life that we Aspie parents have to deal with.  It isn't the Aspie's inability to understand, it is our inability to know when we ourselves need attention first, more than they do!     
   Maybe someday he will learn to look beyond himself, but maybe not.  Therefore, I must learn to be aware of my own needs and be able to set his aside for a day or two, or however long I need, to heal and de-stress.  
    So he left on the next bus for his ride downtown and I am in the quiet, peaceful surroundings of my home with my laptop, de-stressing and writing about my day.   My gut has settled down and I may even go to the kitchen and enjoy some jello.  I hope you have had a great day too.