We have had a very hard 13 months. In June of last year, he lost his section 8 housing assistance and moved back in with us. We thought it would only be for a few weeks but it has turned into months. He is back on the waiting list for housing assistance but we do not know how long it will take for him to receive it again.
We had many repairs done to the house while he was living on his own but now there are once again holes in the walls and things have to be cleaned every day. We have about 30 hours a week that he is with Community Living Services workers but the rest of the time, he damands nearly all of our attention.Today was a prime example. He left early this morning to help my brother with mowing and cleaning up the yard. When he got home, we took him out to lunch and then brought him right back home because we had message appointments shortly after lunch. We forgot to turn our phones off during the massages and of course, he called us repeatedly. I just tuned it out the best I could. When we drove up in the driveway, he was waiting for us to arrive and began to demand going somewhere as we got out of the car. Neither of us wanted to get out of the car. Hubby disappeared upstairs and I sat down to my computer and worked on some music downloads, transferring them to my phone. All the while, he would banter back and forth between us, wanting to go.
His birthday is coming up in September and he already has told us what he wants and he wants it now. We will try to make him wait as long as possible but we probably won't make it to his birthday. Sometimes giving up is the only way to get some peace for a period of time. A day or two, if we're lucky.
We are going to do some travel in September. We have set goals for him to meet if he wants to go with us. He is working at it slowly. He has to be reminded because he does not keep anything at the forefront of his mind unless it is his current fixation. He has little sense of time or the lapse of time either.
In October, I am going to have knee replacement surgery, and because of stairs, I will have to go to a rehab center from the hospital for about 4 weeks. Hubby has little patience with him and I doubt that it will go well for them, or the house, while I am away. I fear what I will find when I get home in November. I will not be completely recovered for about 5-6 months. I guess I will get a break from the stress at home but it will not all stay at home. I will hear all of the complaints when they visit, I am sure.
I so want him to be more independent but it just isn't happening like we want. He has become more dependent since living with us. He may be able to get public housing in a month or two but he is justifiably afraid of it. I am too. The best places are not given to new applicants. He would be placed wherever they have an opening. Our city has a high murder rate in such areas. There are many services he cannot get because he does not have an IQ below 70. He is low/average on the scale and it keeps him out of the services he needs.
I try to keep my sanity with my music, friends, and lots and lots of prayers. We get massages once in a while and I use yoga nidra, meditation, and relaxing music at night. I try to exercise when I can. I attend a water fitness class once a week and I have kept a small garden since spring. I try to eat as healthily as possible and have really enjoyed my organic vegies this summer.
I am also a 3 year breast cancer survivor and I see the oncologist or her assistant every 4-5 months and a surgeon once a year. I worry that the stress of living with my son will reduce my survival chances. I try to keep up with recent research about medications and things that might improve my chances of a longer life. I attend a nutrition support group once a month also.
You may be a parent like me, with an adult autistic/Asperger's child and I hope we can share thoughts, ideas, vents, or whatever here. I just ask that it not be too explicit!
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